Thursday | February 09, 2012
Are You Asking For Too Much or Not Enough?
| Rate Center | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Today's Average Rates Across the Country* | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
By
Michael Chatman,YOUNG MONEY columnist
11 March 2004
I nearly dropped the phone. My head was ringing like a cash register in the express lane. The man at the other end of the line wanted me to speak at a corporate convention. Corporations had real money. I needed real money.
Keys to Effective Communication
Up to this point in my life, I’d done a lot of public speaking. But most of it was in churches. They didn’t have real money – they had “love offerings.” There’s a difference. A “love offering” is a collection of plates laden with quarters and nickels and garnished with an occasional dollar bill.
But now I had a live one on the line – a corporation. Corporations paid up-front cash. My mind was racing. Finances had been thin ever since I set out on my speaking career. I could hope to earn $200 from this one speech. The man gave me the dates for his meeting. I put him on hold and called Sandy, my wife, into the room to help me check the calendar.
But now, Sandy pointed out a problem. The speaking date, according to the calendar, fell right in the middle of our vacation. But why be inflexible? I tried to get Sandy to hear the beautiful cash-register sounds I was hearing, but she was tone deaf.
“No amount of money is more important than our time together as a family,” she stated firmly. I sighed, politely told the man I wasn’t available, and hung up the phone.
But this was one very determined man. He kept calling me back, trying to entice me to come. Each time he called, I tried to convince Sandy. “He wants me really, really, bad,” I whined. “Maybe $300 bad.” But she stood firm; family vacation was simply too important. With each call, the tension between Sandy and me escalated.
The man called one final time. I’d grown impatient with his persistence, and I decided to make him an offer he had to refuse. I would set a price so outrageous that he’d have to stop calling.
“Your convention date falls right in the middle of my vacation,” I said. “I can only come on one condition.” My mind scrambled, jingling the coins that were lying there. “If you pay me… (I paused and shot for the moon)… $2,500.” I’d never in my life seen $2,500 in one place.
But why stop there? “You’d have to fly my family out to be with me,” I continued. “And you’d have to put us up in a beach resort for three days and pay all the expenses. Then I would come.”
Those were three conditions, not one. But it didn’t matter. It felt good to demand the impossible!
His answer was immediate. “That’s great!” he said. “We’ll do it.” I dropped the phone. Sandy walked into the room just as I picked up the phone – and my jaw – from the floor. She knew what was up. I covered the receiver with my hand and tried to smile.
“I tried to make him an offer so ridiculous that he had to turn it down,” I explained, trying to break it to her slowly. Her brows furrowed as I continued.
“I told him I’d come to his event if he is willing to pay me $2,500 and all the expenses to fly you and Bradley to join me.” I paused for effect. “Plus pay the expenses for three days in a beach resort. But he said, yes! What am I going to do?”
A smile creased her face. “Take it, stupid!” she said laughing. She’s flexible. I love her for that.
I wonder how many times opportunities pass us by simply because we are afraid to ask. I’m not suggesting that you adopt the same materialistic motivation I had. But could there be times to dream the impossible dream and go after goals bigger than we think possible? Not necessarily for money or fame or power, but for the satisfaction of knowing you accomplished something that you thought was beyond your reach.
There’s overwhelming evidence that people who are not afraid to ask for what they want are more likely to receive it than those who never ask. Have you asked? You have nothing to lose. Be sure to use language that is appropriate for the person you are asking. Their answer may just surprise you.
Michael Chatman has spoken to more than two million young adults from coast to coast. As a teen and young adult financial motivator, he inspires his audiences to develop their personal greatness and take responsibility for their financial future. He is also the author of Mom… Dad… What Were You Thinking? Seven Ways to Build Wealth and Prove You’re Financially Smarter Than Your Parents. You can contact him at info@michaelchatman.com or visit MichaelChatman.com.
Copyright © 2004. YOUNG MONEY®
Tag Cloud
Financial help Center
Newsletter Sign Up
Enter to win a Young Money Career Package by signing up for our newletter.
I can empathize with your new client. As a child, as for many years as an adult, I had no real confidence in myself, regardless of accomplishments. When I was a child, my parents tried to teach me the lesson of the ‘Little Engine That Could.’ As you recall, it could because it though it could. Whenever they told me that, I say: “but I don’t think I can”, as that was a far as it ever went.
When I was in college I read a science fiction novel in which the main character (if I recall, I don’t really remember the details) was consumed by fear. So he learned this small poem, which I memorized and said it over and over to myself:
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
Recently I looked it up. It is from a book by Frank Herbert in the Dune series. Regardless of its origins, it really helped me; it helped that I memorized it and repeated it to myself a million times a day.
Well, there are other things that helped my in conquering fear and in ability to be confident, but that was one of the first steps.