Thursday | February 09, 2012
Playing Hooky? Some of Our Favorite Excuses
| Rate Center | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Today's Average Rates Across the Country* | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
By
Emily Torres
25 September 2008
It’s a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. This may be one of the last absolutely perfect days before the cold weather rolls in. You wake up, roll over, and decide you just don’t want to go to work. Now, we don’t condone playing hooky. But if you’re going to do it, do it right.
Here are our best excuses for calling in sick.
Embarrasing topics. Female problems, sudden onset IBS, gut wrenching diarrhea. All things that no one wants to ask about. Many people think that most people don’t want to talk about these embarrassing topics. They assume that if you’re willing to risk embarrassment talking about personal bodily malfunctions then there must be something really wrong. The more descriptive you can be the more likely they are to get off the phone and not call back to check up on you.
Kill off your family. This is risky but effective. Lying about the death of a family member may be in poor taste but most people won’t question it—just in case it is true. And no one can stop you from going to a funeral, no matter how fake it is. The main problem with this excuse is when your supposedly dead family member calls your work or drops in unexpectedly. Be aware that you might have to act sad for a while. On the other hand, at least one person will probably bake you banana bread or bring flowers.
Pet Emergency. Everyone loves his or her Fido or Fluffy. In fact, some people are downright obsessed with his or het pet. If your boss has photos of her dog on every free spot of desk space then this is probably the excuse for you. And, if you do it right, you can probably get a day off and a few days to sleep in (faux vet visits). You might want to snap some photos of your “sick” pet (if you don’t have one borrow a neighbor’s) to keep around your desk. This is called “selling the lie,” and can help take your excuse to the next level.
Take two. Taking one day off work (especially a beautiful day) may get a raised eyebrow and some well-placed suspicion. But if you take two, people will stop suspecting and start worrying. Take three and you’re entering concerned-phone-call-land and Get Well cards. Most people aren’t bold enough to go this route. So if you decide to take more than one fake sick day, know you’ve got balls.
New client meeting. If you can work this one, it’s a win-win. Here’s how it works: tell your boss you’re visiting with a prospective new client. You get the day to do whatever you want and your boss thinks you’re taking initiative and working hard. You also don’t have to waste a sick day. When your boss asks you how it went you can string him along for a few days before sadly telling him that it just didn’t work out.
All of these depend on your relationship with your boss. If you have a cool boss and a good relationship, you can always tell the truth: that you’re too hung over, that you need a mental health day, or that you just feel weird.
Disclaimer: Young Money takes absolutely no responsibility for missed work or lost jobs. Use at your own risk.
Emily Torres is a freelance writer. She has written for Salon.com and sometimes guest blogs on www.lifesabitchbooks.com.
Tag Cloud
Financial help Center
Newsletter Sign Up
Enter to win a Young Money Career Package by signing up for our newletter.
I can empathize with your new client. As a child, as for many years as an adult, I had no real confidence in myself, regardless of accomplishments. When I was a child, my parents tried to teach me the lesson of the ‘Little Engine That Could.’ As you recall, it could because it though it could. Whenever they told me that, I say: “but I don’t think I can”, as that was a far as it ever went.
When I was in college I read a science fiction novel in which the main character (if I recall, I don’t really remember the details) was consumed by fear. So he learned this small poem, which I memorized and said it over and over to myself:
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
Recently I looked it up. It is from a book by Frank Herbert in the Dune series. Regardless of its origins, it really helped me; it helped that I memorized it and repeated it to myself a million times a day.
Well, there are other things that helped my in conquering fear and in ability to be confident, but that was one of the first steps.